Exhilaration-Heartache-Palpitation-Nail-biting-Exhaustive-Accomplished-Defeated-Determined
It all sounds like a thrilling cricket match between India
and Pakistan or rather it sounds like any of those games played in any one of
those leagues mushrooming in India. I'm
talking about a completely different league. A league which every 4th year can
relate to. No, definitely not the Ivy league. Those are the potpourri of
feelings that go in the mind of a normal student sitting for placements. The
transition from a free-willed, lethargic college guy wearing low waist pants,
funky hairstyle, swear words armed at his mouth to a seemingly responsible looking corporate-ready
employee wearing corporate blue with respect tied around his neck is quite a
contrasting one. Yes, this is about the placements and interviews conducted
shamelessly in every college throughout India.
Come, seventh semester and you can see the college bustling
with guys donning themselves with formals ( bought and worn for the first time
unless it's a hostelite subjected to ragging activities oblivious to the
staff). Most of them stick on to the sky blue colour, which many insultingly
call salesman blue! Others go with the classic white and black. Few of the
superstitious students might even look
for that lucky pen ,underwear, trouser or a sock to have their luck turned
around. Hey! guess what, I think a black cat just crossed your way.
Shirt tucked in, black shoes polished to mirror like finish,
a haircut(usually a first) to pretend to look
like a smartass, trimmed or shaved beard (they don't want to see that
unkempt rowdy look of yours), a belt of confidence to keep your loose ends in
check and finally a judicious use talcum powder to appear bright and shinning, ready
to take on the world. Many might even use a comb for the first time in their life(
I did). A fancy file to hold all your credentials, fake certificates, marks
card, resumes etc required to show that you really have it in you! I view some
of them just as a bunch of paper tigers! This is how we boys do it. Girls
usually come in their usual traditional attire with strict rules to wear
nothing too revealing or exposing lest
the HR should be tempted to hire her. Keeping it simple is their mantra I guess. And
a dash of deodorant not to attract chicks that are incredulously shown in some
of those lame advertisements but is just used to aesthetically fit in.
I'll just run you through the entire process which is
usually done in a day or two depending upon the HR and the company. The first
round in any selection process is aptitude, the mass eliminator. Here in this
part of the selection, they siphon out only the best students. Only those who
can calculate Tanya's age after 10 years if her mother's age is thrice her
present can proceed further on. Only those who can figure out the gain percent can
move on if Rahul allows a discount of 10% and he marks his goods 30% above CP.
Only those who know the meaning of the word "pusillanimous" have a
chance of getting a job. Only those who can deduce the exact day on which 15th
August fell on 1776 have a shot at getting their dream job.
I hope these questions gave you a brief idea about how these weird and to an
extent unfair aptitude part of the selection works. They want to know whether
you really have some of that grey matter. Obviously everybody does. They want to see how fast those synaptic nerves of
yours can make those error-free connections within that stipulated time. Those
four to five options out of which one is deemed to be correct stands between
you and the next round! Though it doesn't seem to be the most accurate way of
testing your logic. I think it's a tried and tested methodology which has stood
the test of time and will definitely stay for the next couple of years. So
clearing aptitude is kind of like crossing the Jordan river. Definitely not an herculean
task, just got to think smart.
After scramming your mind with all those shortcuts, formulae
and concepts, all that matters is those 90 odd minutes which might be the
deciding factor in your life. As most of them say, I would like to
reiterate," stick on to your basics " and needless to say that
hackneyed dialogue" Practice makes Perfect" does add on to your
advantage.
Some of them announce
the results and finish the entire process the same day. While some mass
recruiters shift it to the next day, giving us enough time to become anxious
.That whole night is spent tirelessly preparing for the technical interview,
GD, HR with an indefatigable spirit. Some of them have group discussions(GD)
which tests the persons communication, listening and presentation skills,
command over language. GD usually covers current affairs or a few evergreen
topics like India and Pak or something along those lines. Convey that thought
of yours in a clear and lucid manner with confidence. If there's a cacophony of voices erupting at once, don't
involve. Let it subside and then go for it.
Then comes the technical interview. Don't bullshit them .
Some of them have experiences that exceed your present age. Usually again they
target the basics and try to shake us down. If you're technically sound you're
off to the next and probably final round, the HR round
HR(Human Resource) people are akin to wolves in a lambs
skin, with the converse also possible.
They are amicable, make us feel comfortable, some give us that wide
smile showing all those pearlies. They are masters of deception. They stealthily
watch your every move, ready to devour us. They are employed to get into to the
psyche of the human mind. They want to
trick us, bait us, make us fall into a pit which is all part of an
elaborate ruse to corner us .Think before you speak, each and every word can be
used against us just like the Miranda rights. They try to delve into your mind
which might be vulnerable to attack giving the inexperience and naivety we
carry along when it comes to interviews. You can never predict the outcome of
the HR interview. You think it was like the perfect interview anybody could
ever ask for, unfortunately he would've had something else in his mind and this
results in a discrepancy of expectations.
Results. After a detailed discussion with the panellists,
they shortlist the names. That duration, when they call out the names is like
the longest 5 minute ever. It's like a high intensity drama scene filled with
adrenaline. Each name they call out adds a nail to your palpitating heart which
gradually shatters your dreams. If your name is called out, those hard
anticipatory moments are over. Congrats you are done with it. If you aren't
through, you have one hell of a long day. It begins with that self doubt and
de-motivating thought floating somewhere in the corner of your mind. You feel
crestfallen and dejected. It's like you've been defeated. And then some of your
friends might mistakenly wish you on getting that job. That's because of the
expectation we carry along. We then smile for those 3 to 4 awkward seconds and
you tell them ,"no bro couldn't crack it" and all of them give that
reassuring reply, "hard luck". Other close friends might give us that
little philosophical talk about how everything happens for a reason or
everything happens for the good. I never actually grasped that concept . Really..very
abstract! Then you get that lump in the throat where you ask yourself,
"was I that bad". You try to hide that sad, morose face and wear a
mask that shows your happiness and jubilation for their achievement. Your smile
goes on that fluctuation mode which keeps swinging between " I'm happy for
them" to "Where the hell did I screw up" . The rest of the day
is spent on introspection and careful analysis of what happened throughout the
day. The best part is you never know why you didn't make it. It's a closed
secret. You just got to come up with those plausible theories, have that never
die spirit, be optimistic and make sure frustration doesn't get the better of you.
Frustration builds up, friends get placed and you go green
with envy. Sometimes I wonder if some of them are really looking for a job desperate
to just put up that," Got placed...not jobless anymore" status on Facebook.
I think that 150+ likes will definitely motivate him to do better. I also think
placements in India is definitely overrated. Most of them want a job at the end
of 4 years, majority of them are dead
serious , others might just keep it as a backup if their plans don't work out
that well. And life isn't all honky dory once you've been placed. Most of them
send the offer letters 4-8 months after you finish your graduation. That period, my friends is called being "jobless". A few unlucky souls might not
receive the letter. It's like you being put on hold for months and there you
are eagerly waiting for their reply. The people who receive will be trained, monitored
,again tested, a few of them will be rejected and people who survive that
ordeal are appointed. Tedious, isn't it.
So here's all the best to all of those future, intense interviews
and placement drives. There's always a next time. You'll get a better company
and deserve a better package. So these are a few life advices given by great
teachers surrounding us.
My advice? The next two quotes.
"To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield"
- Lord Alfred Tennyson
"I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I
work , the more I have it"- Thomas Jefferson
